lightning bugs

(written Friday, July 2, 2010)

Since early June when the heat forced my small community house to keep the doors and windows open at all times, I would find the occasional company of lightning bugs in my bedroom as I was falling to sleep. Small illuminations from nature came to enchant my dreams and make me grin. Their presence was so infrequent, unexpected, and welcomed that it served as the most beautiful illustration for those glimmering heartbeats of romance as well as for all those moments when home is discovered in the most foreign of circumstances.

The Isle of Ometepe, Cafe Hawelka, the taste of gnocchi in Rome, on top of a mountain in Glacier, with the kids at Harka...

And so it is that I just watched Uruguay defeat Ghana in dramatic fashion with other travelers outside a sports pub in Chicago O’Hare airport, and carried my anxious energy to Gate M10 where I will depart for Kathmandu via Abu Dhabi. Just as lightning strikes twice and lightning bugs sneak in to give me a giddy sense of peace before sleep, I am able to see the children once again.

I am thankful for small wonders and simple promises.

great anticipation

I purchased malaria medicine that will make my skin sensitive to the sun. So if I come back looking like Tulie's (above photo) older sister (actually, mother..sheesh) blame it on the pharmaceutical company and not my disconcern for my health.

Friday afternoon I will depart for the inevitable days of exhausting travel that will land me (by God's good grace) in the hot, humid, bug-invested property of Harka Orphan Home where I will scoop up every hot, humid, bug-invested child and kiss their snotty faces until they push me away. Ahhh, paradise comes in funny packages.

And so it is that one large suitcase has been stuffed with outfits that my friend, Sarah, so generously purchased for the kids (photo shoots will be had), world maps given to me by my good friend Tom, an assortment of practical first aid materials, finger puppets, bubbles, clay, bandanas, photos from that time Cedric and I went to WWE Raw (I think I may become a mini celebrity just because I've been in the same arena as some of these kids' heroes), and the 16 beanie frogs that my sisters and I are frantically sewing all for the sake of 16 children loving and beating them to death in the muddy confines of their play world.

My hopeful arrival is next Monday where I'll see these munchkins...

...and be doing a lot of this...

Keep an eye open for quite a few stories over the course of July!

one month...

...until I leave for Nepal!!! My anticipation is growing by the day, but as usual, I can't even fully realize the fact that I will be with the kiddos in just one month. Whoa. And though excitement runs through my veins back to my heart to give it life at the moment, I can't help but be saddened that Britta won't be with me this go around. It will be strange walking to the village for some cookies and hopeful internet by myself telling the local kids that my name is John Cena. The following are a few favorites from two and half years ago...I can't wait to see how much they've grown.


Tulie's steering while Manesa checks herself out in the mirror

morning dal bhat before school

the little ones keeping watch over the rice

a northside view of the compound

a first bubbles experience as Buddi holds up Ashish

catching bubbles takes such concentration

here's my boy, Manish...his nickname for me was Giraffe

our friends that inhabit the jungles to the south of Harka

a prayer from brother nouwen

O Lord, let me praise you, bless you, worship you. So often my prayer turns into introspective ruminations regarding my own confused feelings and emotions. So often I find myself engaged in reciting a litany of self-complaints, or my attention wanders to people and events that inhabit my restless mind. O Lord, why do I keep focusing so much on what separates me from you? You are the source of all goodness, beauty, and love. You have shown me your mercy by coming to me and lifting me up into your own life through the life of your Church. And still I keep living as if the thousand other things that crowd my mind need more attention than you.

Help me in this struggle to make you the center of my inner life. Give me the grace of prayer. Show me clearly and convincingly how I am fooling myself, and give me the strength to follow this insight. Most of all, O Lord, let me understand that in and through you all my little concerns will be taken care of. You do not despise my worries, but you do ask me to trust that you will deal with them when I simply keep my eyes on you and your reign.

Teach me, O Lord, your way. Amen.

preparation

The gospel, God's free gift of grace in Jesus, only works when we realize we don't have it all together. The same is true for prayer. The very thing we are allergic to--our helplessness--is what makes prayer work. It works because we are helpless. We can't do life on our own.

-Paul Miller

a garden, baby, some wine and best pals...

This April and May have been busybusy. I finished up my last three prerequisite classes before I begin nursing school this fall...Nashville had a flood that brought immense devastation and as Karl, my housemate and patriarch of the Nashville Greenlands community I live in, so cheekly noted, "I know this flood's caused a lot of hardship, but our asparagus grew two feet!" So while our garden, indeed, has been producing wonderful vegetables, I have continued taking care of the sweetest baby, Eleanor. Seriously, best job I've ever had.

Three weeks ago my dearest Britta took the bus down from Chicago to Memphis for some good ole Southern lovin. This is that particular soul friend who I met working at the front desk of Many Glacier Hotel in Glacier National Park, Montana, four summers ago. From there, we spent about four months in Nepal the winter/spring of 2008 and a month in Costa Rica/Nicaragua last spring. I flew home to Chicago with Britta after our Central American adventures (see blog entry), and so this spring she was able to come down south. From bbq to block party, it was such a sweet reunion. Our next time together will be at Many Glacier this summer (she working that front desk and me visiting it)...whoop!

And to make this spring even more delicious, two of my bestest friends AND my oldest sister came in town over the weekend. Mandy is getting married in September and lives in DC, so while she was visiting her sweet mama, us girls in Nashville made it a good excuse to have a casual girls' night out to Arrington Vineyards where we drank their wine on picnic blankets with pears, cheese, and good conversation...maybe we got giggly. At least that's what the guys who let us do some wine tasting thought...After our silliness had sobered up a bit, we met a few others friends to end out the night. One of those was Jocelyn!! Her brilliant and talented self is getting a PhD at the University of Arkansas, so she rejoiced her finished semester by spending the week here with loads of laughter, good food, dear professors, a younger sister's graduation, and volunteering with all the Flood Relief we got goin on here. Sister Charlotte has known these friends for a good long while as well, and needed a fun weekend away from work--so she shared in all the festivities!

Here's to focusing on the good and beautiful...



radishes, about a month ago

oh goodness, I have LOVED the asparagus we've grown!

There's all sorts of stuff growing in this photo: blackberries, green onions, beets, black raspberries...

chestnut tree

Eleanor, six months

That's me and Britta with our trendy shades...

Her dream come true (actually, Britta didn't even know Graceland was in Memphis)

the king

Mandy's getting married...AND our 5 year college graduation reunion!

Sister Charlotte came in town for the weekend!

Mandypants...typical.

The group after several bottles of wine and wine tasting...apparently, we're hilarious.

Our hair is longgg...

Joce's hair is darkkk...

sneak peek

Oh my goodness. These are the first photos I've seen of the kids at Harka since Britta and I were there two years ago. Pinky was a volunteer nine months after us and just was able to visit for a few weeks last month....she sweetly shared these with us! They are tiny images but adorable, nonetheless.