beauty that moves with the morning

Saturday, March 28, 2006

spring brings new life...too many writers have written this.

my favorite ensemble in the world is a tee shirt, a skirt, some comfortable shoes, and a hoodie sweater...i can wear that now and feel fabulous. so kudos for the change of weather toward spring...for green tights and outrageous eye shadow.

no kudos for bacteria in my lung passageways. bronchitis. you know how when you're sick you can't imagine feeling better. everything tastes like mucus, chest on fire, head pounding... everything's a little sadder. yesterday morning was the first time i woke up and remembered that i felt like shit for 2 weeks and that i didn't feel like that now...that new life of spring. but isolating myself even more than i usually do let me catch up on my mind-numbing pop culture. i watched the first season of grey's anatomy and continued my addiction to preston burke. i also resubscribed to the life of felicity and her gang at nyu. i loved it in high school and have retraveled her drama in the second semester of her sophomore year. damn, i love the drama. noel's girlfriend found out she was pregnant last night and i cried. then an hour later we find out it's not noel's baby...i cried. LOVE it.

spring is my favorite season in nashville. vienna owns fall. winter and summer can go to hell. so i drive with the windows down and fall in love with nashville and memories all over again. it reminds me that i will leave in basically a month. next steps. some blind steps...some familiar. i live for that thrill of travel, of new nature, new adventures. i will be in glacier national park for 4 months starting in june. why? why not.

lisa loeb's "stay" just popped up on a fatabulous mixed cd my best bud, mandy spears, made for me. i will see her in dc in a month and a half, then to boston with joce, then to cincinnati for sheena bean and molly.

so, sorry lisa, but i'm not staying in nashville (even though she was talking about a relationship with a fella...but i don't have a fella so i will talk about my relationship with nashville). not for now, at least. i knew i had to be here this year to rest, rest, renew, renew, be with friends that have become family. to be in this city that has become home. now i know that it has mended my wings, has prepped me for new flights, new fights, new confusions, new ineffable moments. thank you, nashville. thank you, spring.

i'll go to glacier, and fall in love with bends in trails, rocks that make water ripple in streams, the fear and thrill of grizzly bears, mountains that make me believe in God all over again. don't be jealous, nashville. then i'll probably go to memphis and raise funds to train and live in africa for a while. don't be jealous, nashville. for it is you that gives me daniel lanois, sigur ros, david gray, and griffin house in 4 weeks. it is you that gives me a reunion at baja burrito and hillsboro village without any effort of schedule. within your borders i fell in love with soulmates of all shapes and sizes. yours is the kind of beauty that moves. i'll be back.

i'm ready. i think. we'll see.